THE FIVE GRIEF LANGUAGES

THE FIVE GRIEF LANGUAGES

(bouncing off the five love languages)

Sarah, “… Mom, it is funny; Dad retreats to write, and you clean and cook …”  She made this comment about the different ways we handle grief over the loss of a loved one.  So, off I went to do what?  Let’s meditate and muse and write a memo!  What are the different ways people respond to grief?

1.        Write/meditate.  It helps to sort out feelings and thoughts.  Maybe it begins to make sense of troubles.

2.        Clean/help.  We do it for others to express sympathy.  We do it ourselves as therapeutic toil.

3.        Cook/eat.  The sisters at church pull out their best heart-warming recipes.  We savor the delicious morsels as we try to forget our troubles.  Sometimes, it is the thought that counts?!

4.        Give advice and pat answers.  There is a kernel of truth in most of the pat answers.  And, I am sure that folks mean well as they attempt to apply a verbal salve to some heart ache.  Often, it is best just to listen, IMHO.

5.        Listen/console.  People appreciate you just being there.  The friends of Job were doing great, until they opened their mouths.

6.        Research/RCFA.  Google.  Wiki.  Bing.  Looking for answers, we dig into cyber-consciousness.  Connecting the dots does help, some.

7.        Share experiences.  The tracks of a fellow-struggler can sometimes help as one tries to navigate out of the darkness.  But, it is not one-upmanship.  Everyone’s struggle, though similar, is unique.

8.        FB-post.  A modern aid for an ageless problem, we can use social media to communicate and console.  Friends know.  Friends show their support, their compassion.

9.        Talk-catharsis.  It helps to “get it out” of our heart by getting it out in the open.

10.      Prayer.  This is where it should start.  In the Father’s arms there is peace and a path back.

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