A BLACK HEART

A BLACK HEART 

(or, “that’s my buggy!”)

                After our Saturday morning McDonald’s breakfast date, my beloved next wants to go shopping at her favorite department store, “Dirt Cheap”.  (that’s another long story; some other time?!)  I walk through the dirt (c)heap in about ten minutes.  Occasionally I find a gem buried in the field.  But Melanie has “gold fever” and sifts for hours (not literally) looking for not-dirt, for cheap!

                She was in the child-clothes section sifting for grandkid socks or something.  I eased up and whispered, “… take your time;  I will wait in the car, listening to K-Love…”  Her parting request was “… bring me a buggy, please…”  “Sure,” I answered.

                I went outside to get her buggy from their buggy rack, pulled it back to the entrance, and held open the door for an approaching old lady.  She smiled, took MY buggy, and thanked me as she went inside.  My MacLeod temper flared for a nano-second as I considered what just happened!  The real “cart-boy” was approaching from the parking lot with a train of buggies.  The old lady, who took my cart, must have thought that was my job?!  (in my head, I thought, “…just get another…”)  The (real) “cart-boy” motioned that he was not going through the door I was still, dumfoundedly, holding open.

                Then, I heard it – a quiet voice just inside the door – “here’s your buggy, sir…”  She had not stolen my buggy, but was helping me by taking it through the door for me!!  My black heart was immediately pierced through with remorse!  This little, old black lady was reciprocating the kindness I had shown her.  Wow!  How did my kindness so quickly turn “killer”?!  God help us.  Fill me with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control!

                Why did I jump to the conclusion that she had used me?!  “Surely she saw me getting the buggy…” was my initial accusation!  But, she had not used me; she had helped me!  My black heart scares me.  Thank you for cutting me, to the heart, so quickly.  No, I did nothing, said nothing, but thought something.

                I want to assume the best in people.  I want to give others the respect, and forgiveness for which they are “entitled”!  I do not want the users to transform me into a cynic!  I do not want the bigots to blacken my heart!  I do not want the haters to shrivel my soul!  Create in me a clean heart, transformed into the likeness of the Prince of Peace!