DECISION MAKING

DECISION MAKING

Decision-making is tough.  Each person must make decisions, ranging between ice cream flavor selection, and life partner selection.  Some decisions are mundane and inconsequential.  And, there are decisions with eternal dimensions and consequences.  Some decisions are made by individuals, others by couples, and yet others by larger groups.  Different mechanisms and methods are brought into play, culling some options, and promoting others.  The following are random thoughts on different mechanisms and methods used in decision making:

1.            Abraham-like “get up and go …”  (this is rarely the case)

2.            Paul-like dream “come to Macedonia …”

3.            Open-doors – Closed-doors leading

4.            “Peace”

a.            “cast all your anxieties on the Lord, with thanksgiving, and the peace of God will …”

b.            “peace that passes all understanding…”

c.             Very commonly referenced by my contemporaries

d.            Very little Biblical material, examples???

5.            Advice/Counselors

a.            Listen to wife!

b.            “two heads are better than one…”

c.             “Two-strand cord, three-strand cord…”

6.            Pros-Cons Matrix

7.            Prayer (and, fasting)

a.            Can be part of all of these?

b.            Jesus, “what do you want me to do for you?”

c.             “Ask for wisdom…” Jas.

8.            Ask self, “what do you want?!”

9.            Casting lots

a.            Apostle replacement

b.            Proverbs quotations

c.             Chicago move?!

10.          Signs

a.            Gideon and his fleece

b.            “May 15”? (05/15/96, 05/15/16)

c.             Double shooting star

11.          Pin through the Bible

a.            Names for babies?!

b.            “stay there, useful to me …” 1Tim. (Sarah – Africa or not)

12.          Trial and Error – “scientific method”

13.          Evolving Decision

a.            “audible at line”

b.            Play cards dealt, but draw as needed, poker-like?

c.             Hop in car and just go, correcting course as needed.

14.          Research/Contingencies

15.          Group vote – Jerusalem Council, Acts 15

a.            “Show me the money”

b.            Business model – profitability

c.             Golden-rule – man with gold makes the rules?!

16.          Copy-cat

a.            Do what always has been done

b.            Do what others do

17.          Hard Way

a.            Swim upstream

b.            Counter-culture

c.             Check wind and walk into it

18.          Whatever is in front of you.

a.            “God has put you where you are”

b.            “Play cards dealt”

19.          Finite-world of limited options

a.            Church-shopping

b.            Wife-looking (not so romantic?)

20.          Handwriting on the wall

a.            Daniel – mene mene tekel upharsin

b.            But, cannot read it?!

21.          Dreams and visions

a.            Joseph and dreams of Pharoah

b.            Joseph and his own dreams

c.             Daniel and king’s dreams

d.            Agabus and belt

e.            “mud holes on side road leading to town down the hill…”

22.          “Scriptural”

a.            A clear “thus says the Lord”?

b.            Steve C. “… as long as they are scriptural …”

c.             “Thy word is a light unto my path …”

d.            “… you search the Scripture, … life … son of Hell”

23.          Submission

a.            “… hard to kick against the pricks/goads…”

b.            Often given no choices

c.             Sometimes MUST counter – Acts 5 “we must…”; S,M,A in Daniel?!

d.            God gives direction through leaders

e.            Parent-child m.o.; grown children?!

24.          Go with your gut.

25.          Feels right

a.            Song- “I’ve got a feeling, I’m high on believing…”

b.            Song – “…if loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right ….”

c.             “there is a way that seems right … end is death …”

26.          Go with flow

27.          Stay in herd

28.          Self-preservation

29.          Not stir the pot/crap

30.          Sleeping dogs – let alone; not bite.

31.          Love???

a.            Song – “what’s love got to do with it?”

b.            Tough love vs. indulgence

c.             Rebukes of friend vs. kisses of enemy?

d.            Second commandment!

e.            Golden rule

32.          WWJD??

33.          “still small voice”  Elijah

34.          “Test the spirits, to see if from God…”

35.          Pragmatic – whatever works is right.

36.          “the Lord told me…”

a.            (Hunter Smith) girl at church brought in hitch-hiker because “Lord told me…”  Preacher told her to be careful; she said she feared God and not doing what He told her to do

b.            (Chicago friend)  “Lord told me to humble myself”  “OK, humility is good”  “He told me to pick my nose at front of church …”  “that is not God…”

c.             (Nancy Fagerman) boy told her that he got a message from God about marrying her; she answered, “wait, until He tells me too…”

d.            Do we ever hear what we want to hear?!

37.          “Tongue-speaking” confirmation

a.            Oral Roberts “70 foot Jesus, gonna kill me unless you send in money…”

b.            Hard to argue with self-proclaimed prophets?

c.             “test the spirits …”

d.            “search the Scriptures, to see if …”

38.          Palm-reader/bone-caster, etc.

a.            Witch of Endor

b.            Warnings about wizardry

c.             Consult stars, or the Star-maker?

39.          Just ask Sirie/ just google it?

40.          “get close to God and then do whatever you WANT to do”?! (will want what He wants?)

41.          “go with your ‘passion’…”

42.          Do what asked to do

a.            “Go two miles”

b.            “give 2nd coat away…”

43.          Purpose-statement

a.            Star Trek “Prime Directive”

b.            Thesis of sermon culls mundane material

c.             Mission Statement of a congregation

44.          Just “drink cup is not passed” – Gethsemane

45.          “Jump on in, head first!”

a.            Just have faith…

b.            Broken neck?

c.             “thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God”

d.            Adventure vs. commissioned ministry?

46.          “wait EIGHT days

a.            Saul told by Samuel to wait seven days

b.            “… wait on the Lord …”

47.          “when you know, you know”?!

48.          As yourself, “what are you holding on to?”

49.          “cast nets on other side …”

50.          See opportunities, not obstacles/problems

51.          Look up, not back; look forward, not back; if look back, see his faithfulness

52.          Long engagement predicts good marriage

a.            One-year engagement?!

b.            Asked M to marry on 07/04/77; met in 03/77

53.          Test-drive a car?

54.          Set up a committee

55.          Toss a coin.

(reminded of Paul Simon song -  Fifty Ways…)

A SECOND DATE?

A SECOND DATE?

I sit alone, pondering the date.  He was a nice boy; and we did have a great time.  But, I was a just little uncomfortable, since it was his family reunion, and I was just his date.  The food was great.  And, everybody was so kind to me, almost too friendly.  It was like “look at ol’ Dean; he finally got a date!  But, she is a real catch…”

I worked hard to get my R.N. license.  But, after a few years doing hospital work, I just got burned out.  From what I hear, that it is quite common.  But, I did enjoy helping the patients, nursing them back to health.  Nothing is more satisfying than seeing somebody checkout with a new smile on their face.  But, it is such a grind.  But, there is such a shortage of nurses.  And, there are so many sick folks.  But, I am little afraid of getting back into nursing.  Agh!

Why did I ever try this internet dating service?!  It was all moving so fast.  One date is not a courtship.  But, long-distance dating is such a strain.  Sure, we were a great match, in so many ways.  I mean, his family runs the local hospital!  I could get a new job there in their small town.  And, it is a nice place, an idyllic sort of “Brigadoon” or “Xanadu”?!  But, there are problems, even in Shangra-La, to be sure.

So, what’s next?  I do not want to “lead him on” but I cannot seem to quit thinking about Dean.  It was overwhelming – the thought of pulling up roots, moving, starting over in a strange new place.  And, that county is so poor.  I have grown to like it here in the city, with so many advantages.  But, “it is not good to be alone” is the first negative comment in the Holy Scriptures?! 

I do enjoy my lifestyle.  I can come and go as I please.  I make decent money with my new job, even though it is not nursing.  But, how I miss the smell of a hospital!  And the chatter with other nurses in the break-room was stimulating.  Although, I am not sure that my back can take the stain of lifting those over-weight patients, again.  Some of them seem incapable of helping themselves even roll over, much less getting up and waddling over to the restroom.  But it is not all about the hospital.  His family would be fun to be around.

I hate second-guessing myself.  I had to make a decision.  Just a couple more years, and I can retire from this job.  Maybe I was too harsh?  Telling Dean that I did not think it was going to “work out” could have been mollified with something like “let’s stay in touch and see where this goes”?!  But, he has likely moved on and has several butterflies floating around him.  But, maybe I should drop him a note?  We could get a cup of coffee every once in a while?  But, his family probably hates me now.  Maybe I will just write poetry to myself; nobody wants to read it anyway.  And the muses visit so unpredictably.

NO FEAR

FEAR  NOT

We all have fears.  I am not afraid of spiders, snakes, heights …  I remember Heather’s answer, teen class 1990’s “your greatest fear?”  “being alone.”  More recently, I heard a surprising answer – H’s answer (2016) – “I never knew you …”  and then, B’s answer (2016) – “losing my children…”

The following are items on my list as I make a life-changing decision about retiring early to work with a small church:

1.     Afraid cannot do the job.

2.     Afraid church will die.

3.     Afraid will get discouraged.

4.     Afraid they will not like me.

5.     Afraid they will reject message.

6.     Afraid of writer’s block – flurries and famine.

7.     Afraid will succeed and meet opposition.

8.     Afraid of change.

9.     Afraid of loss of security and stability.

10.  Afraid whether it is self-seeking or self-crucifying.

11.  Afraid of racial turmoil. Cf. RDC

12.  Afraid of gov’t singling out?!

13.  Afraid of not giving it my all.

14.  Afraid of losing refound fire.

15.  Afraid of smothering refound fire.

16.  Afraid of floating rather than diving deeper.

17.  Afraid of rusting out.

18.  Afraid of hotline disconnect – fresh contact with God.

19.  Afraid of stress?!

20.  Afraid not setting good example of seriously seeking God.

21.  Afraid of damaging Melanie/marriage.

22.  Afraid honeymoon ending. (7-year itch; 2-3 year tenures)

23.  Afraid that I won election, with no agenda. (HS/SGA Pres.)

24.  Afraid of burned bridges.  (IP)

25.  Afraid of burned boats.

26.  Afraid to give up tent-maker independence.

27.  Afraid to limit retirement ministry options.

28.  Afraid of it being strength of personality vs. Spirit strength.

29.  Afraid of where God would take us?!  (Abraham; Mt.28 “with you always”)

30.  Afraid of not WWJD – following Jesus; other paths end badly!

In Aberdeen, we drove into haunted house driveway – “what are you doing?”  “must face fears head on! Ha!”

To Joshua “be not afraid”

“not given a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power …”

Need Ragnar-like gusto

Caleb “give me the hill country; Anakim there …”

We need a fearlessness in the face of death, beyond any Valhalla/70-virgin death cult!

“for the joy set before him, went to the cross…”